Don’t Just Give. Receive.

By Tristine Lee —

I don’t believe in just giving. The world makes it seem as if charitable giving is a sign of power, wealth, control—and maybe maturity, and that being the beneficiary is a sign of being weak, poor and needy. During Hurricane Katrina, the U.S. rejected help from outside and those countries looked on us with contempt as that arrogant nation with an I-need-no-one-but-myself snooty gait.

And then came Chile’s 8.8 quake. Chile is one of the most prosperous nations in Latin America. So when the president reportedly turned down initial offers of international aid (even though it may have been just to get a thorough analysis of the quake before asking for assistance), she got a lot of flak.

Naturally when a person receives, it’s normal to want to return the favor in some way, shape or form. But when the recipient wants to give back to the giver and the giver refuses the gift or offer, it’s taken as an offensive snub.

A giver should be willing to receive. It’s different from expecting something back. A person who is only a taker is greedy, therefore immature, and should learn from the giver.

I found there to be two types of givers and two types of takers in this world—the impactful and the non-impactful.

Giver A likes to give and give because it makes them feel good, look good, it’s the right thing to do and/or because, well, they’re rich and can afford to give. They don’t know how to receive and gets uncomfortable when someone offers to buy them something—or they might think nothing of it. They don’t want to look and feel weak and needy, which is how it makes them feel. They really obsess on how other people view them.

Giver B likes to give too, but mostly because they really want to. They may not be necessarily “rich,” but their small sacrifice of time or money helps them express their thankfulness.

Then we have Taker A—the narcissistic, immature being who tries to slurp up the best things in life for themselves. It’s the me-me-me mentality where it’s important how “I” feel and not how others feel. Whenever they see the opportunity to “get” things, they take advantage of it no matter what.

Taker B takes things with stride and a thankful heart. They are open to receiving though they don’t necessarily expect it or go out of their way looking for it. It just comes to them and they accept with gladness if it makes sense and is appropriate, but they also are led to give. When the B’s mesh, it’s total harmony.